barbara walters just said penis...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
