Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
