she woke up with a sticky ear
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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