Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
