dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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