I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
