There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
