Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
