Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
