Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize