Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
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