guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
