I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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