she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
