Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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