sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I said "one day" and that day is not today
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
