I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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