I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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