he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize