Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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