youre lurking in front of me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
