Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
