I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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