I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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