even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
