if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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