My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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