she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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