like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
