Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
