I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
