I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
