I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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