On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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