So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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