On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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