i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
