im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
