So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
