I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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