She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
