I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
