should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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