the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize