So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
