I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
