she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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