My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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