I must be too annoying 4 u.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
