Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
