cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
