bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
