apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
