Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
just found out that she named her cat after me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
