Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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