Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
