We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize