Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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