What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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