As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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